Dear friends,

As I reach out to you, I find myself in desperate need of a true story, a story that involves us, a reminder that we are not alone in our struggles. We’ve all heard the saying, “You reap what you sow,” and while it sounds beautiful, I can’t help but disagree with it in this moment. Everything I’ve invested in life hasn’t always unfolded as expected, though it has gifted me countless lessons. But I digress.

Once, I asked someone I once shared a deep connection with how they were doing, and their response was, “Life is good, life is great.” Reading those words left me feeling intensely sad. It felt like the same old script, so empty, so devoid of substance. I thought we had moved beyond this, transcended the need for such superficial exchanges, especially after all the struggles we’d been through together. As usual, I wanted to delve deeper, to understand what exactly constituted “good” and “great.” However, I simply lack the energy for it now. I can’t do this anymore, and here’s why.

Most of the time, I find myself torn between teaching and learning, or simply letting go. How can people change if we never challenge their perspectives? On the other hand, do we really need to teach people how to take off the masks they wear, masks that no one ever asked them to put on, masks that they’ve crafted for themselves? As I type this, I realize that it isn’t as straightforward as it may seem.

But I’m exhausted from the lack of honest conversations, both with others and with ourselves. I’ve been trying to lead by example, showing the struggles, the doubts, the insecurities. It’s given me clarity, but it has also brought disappointment. So when I messaged someone with whom I once shared a deep connection, it felt like we were strangers once again.

A feeling that I typically label as “let it go.” We served each other during a specific time and moment in our lives, and it doesn’t guarantee us anything for the future. I shouldn’t be angry or disappointed. I should see it as a sign, a sign to move on to another chapter with different people, not holding on.

At times, this is challenging, but what I’ve come to realize is that the difficulty arises from my own thoughts, my refusal to let go of the image I hold of this person. I’m not seeing them for who they are right now, not accepting them as they are. It’s not them who have changed or not changed; it’s me clinging to my own perspective, unwilling to let go.

Imagine being in a river, swimming against the current because you’ve seen something beautiful upstream. But if you swim with the current, you might discover even more beautiful things.

I want to express my gratitude to those who have reached out to me, saying, “Life is good,” after a long silence. It has shown me where I’ve been laying blame on others. In reality, I need to turn inward and tell myself, “I can’t do this anymore.” And by this, I mean holding on to things and passing judgment.

If any of this resonates with you, or if you’ve ever felt like you can’t do this anymore, please share your thoughts and experiences with me. Let’s have an honest conversation, as I believe that in our shared vulnerability, we find strength and connection.

Yours,

Tati